I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize