We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
