The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
