I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I looked at my own cervix.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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