i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
