I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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