I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
