The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
