My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize