I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
