I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize