Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
