Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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