Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
