I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
please come you make the beer taste better
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
