Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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