Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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