dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
