Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
