There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
