At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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