But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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