I want to make a zoo with you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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