So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
