people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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