do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
