What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
