clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The air was thick with penises
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
