12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize