does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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