Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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