I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
