Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
