is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
