I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
