is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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