Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
false alarm, still single
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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