He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
