"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
well you can't waste a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize