Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
