JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
