Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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