i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
