Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
