He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
