I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
