he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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