you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
