similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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