You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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