My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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