i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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