Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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