Little spoons don't ask big questions
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
