ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
