just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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