i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
