I'm gonna have a badass scar
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
