that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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