At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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