I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
