I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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