An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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