If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
