i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize