I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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