he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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