just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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